More Labs “Morning Recovery” After-Party Liver Support, Republic Of Korea – Sketchy Gas Stations across Canada $? (price varies wildly)/ $9.25 US from More Labs website (100ml plastic bottle)

Granted, one shouldn’t expect to find the holy grail of hangover helpers amidst all the little garishly-labelled energy/libido boosters found on the counters of shadier rural independent gas stations (reliably right beside the beef jerky of undeclared provenance), but I was hoping for a little more than this particular snake oil delivered.

I’ve gotten to the age where I can predict with unwavering certainty when I am going to awake with a hangover of truly Withnailian proportions. With this in mind, the other evening I realised that I had opened (and consumed) one bottle of wine too many as I was fooling around on my drum machines; I had been lost in music, caught in a vinous trap, so to speak.

I was on my wobbly way to the medicine cabinet to grab some activated charcoal capsules and a glass of water, when I remembered my little bottle of Morning Recovery; Oh, how I wish I hadn’t bothered.

It pours in the glass like a urine sample (replete with a touch of froth) from an unfortunate soul just about to get a call from their doctor about the onset of Type 2 diabetes. Understandably this would be thoroughly unpalatable if ingested warm, so if you insist on giving it a shot, chilling is highly recommended.

It honestly baffles me how More Labs make “natural lemon flavour” smell and taste identical to watered-down Sunlight dishsoap, accompanied by a touch of the bitterness one finds in the cheapest of artificial sweeteners.

According to the manufacturer’s website:

“While working with a doctor and an ex-FDA scientist, we came up with a synergistic mix of the highest quality ingredients to finalize the formula for Morning Recovery. Our unique blend of super herbs, adaptogens, vitamins, and minerals help rehydrate and replenish lost nutrients so you can bounce back after drinking.”

Does it work?

Does a bear use a Porta Potty?

Perhaps Morning Recovery is simply no match for one of my weapons-grade Drummond hangovers, but ingestion of this stuff had absolutely negligible impact upon the pain I felt the next day. In fact merely thinking about downing a wee bottle of cold pish from a gentleman-of-the-street  the night before perhaps made me feel a little more nauseous than would normally be the case.

The bottom line is: if you are even the slightest bit tempted to pick up a bottle of this when paying for your gas, don’t bother, as it is absolute rubbish.

And I’d pass on that dodgy beef jerky too.

Zero apples out of a possible five.